church Posts

The Power of a Father’s Presence (or Absence)

31 Jan , 2013 No Comments

There are two ways to measure power. One is to see it at work (a weightlifter breaking a world record, a rocket launching into space, an Indy race car speeding down the final stretch). Another way to measure power is to observe it’s absence.  Some studies reveal that 1/3 of all children in the U.S.A. are being raised in a home where there is NO father.

“Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families…those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant.” (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (Sept. 2004).

Fatherless homes:

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes- 10 times the average.

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. Of Health/Census)- 5 times the average.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes- 32 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes- 20 times the average (Center for Disease Control).

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes- 14 times the average (Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26).

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes- 9 times the average (National Principals Association Report).

The Father Factor in Education:

Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Children with fathers who are involved are:

  • 40% less likely to repeat a grade.
  • 70% less likely to drop out of school.
  • more likely to get A’s in school.
  • more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
  • High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?)
  • Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56.

Suicide: 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?)

Behavioral Disorders: 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? )

Juvenile Detention Rates: 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?)

Confused Identities: Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press).

Aggression: In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households.” (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, “Household Family Structure and Children’s Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children,” Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5).

Achievement: Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation).

Delinquency: Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services).

Criminal Activity: The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O’Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College.

A unique Swiss government study (presented in 2000) revealed:

If the mother & father attend church regularly:

33% of their children will end up attending church regularly

25% of their children will end up not attending at all

If mother attends church regularly & the father does not attend church at all:

2% of their children will end up attending church regularly

60% of their children will end up not attending at all

If the father attends church regularly & mother does not attend church at all:

44% of their children will end up attending church regularly

34% of their children will end up not attending at all. (NOTE: higher than if the mother and father both attend!)

Now look at the numbers from the survey released by the Baptist Press:

If the mother is the first to become a Christian in a household, there is a 17% probability that everyone in the household will follow.

If the father is the first to become a Christian in a household, there is a 93% probability that everyone in the household will follow!

God has given great power and influence to fathers. Dads, don’t squander it!

 

The Separation of Church & Hate

07 Oct , 2012 No Comments

Every four years Christians in America are challenged again to rediscover the incomparable power of the Gospel. Oh, most don’t realize that’s what is happening but it really is. It happens every four years. We claim that Christ alone is the hope of our nation and our world, that it is only the power of the Gospel that brings real transformation, but during the presidential race we seem to forget that. Our language, our argumentative spirits, our anger, and often hateful speech, betrays our hearts and the true nature of our belief.

As I’ve watched this season approaching, I’ve grown increasingly disappointed with how Christ followers are more passionate about politics than the Gospel. And I know, already the questions surface, “But don’t politics matter? Shouldn’t we be engaged in every sphere of culture, including the political domain? Don’t we have a God-given right and responsibility to engage, inform, and enter the public discourse of politics?” Yes, yes, yes, and yes. But we are to enter into public discourse like Jesus (our perfect Model in all things) or we do more damage than good. To remain silent is not an option but to be ill-informed or to have a spirit that does not represent our Savior is unacceptable. Authors Gabe Lyons and David Kinnaman, in their book unChristian, point out that most young (18-29) non-Christians in America see the primary witness of the Church as a political witness.  We simply do not find this in the teachings of Jesus or anywhere else in the New Testament. Many believe this younger generation just “don’t get it” (like former generations thought of them), but I see a generation of young believers who are tired of the culture wars and they see another way. Young Christians are ready for peace.  As one young Christian said, “We are ready to lay down our arms. We are ready to stop waging war and start washing feet.” The Jesus way is a different way.

How do we enter the political fray in a way that honors Jesus and keeps the Gospel central?

Too often believers seem to get a pass for their political indiscretions. Often they are applauded for what the Bible calls “slander.”  We slander others in order to win an argument, disguising it all behind “righteous anger.” What is more, other believers applaud our passion and “conviction”, all the while losing the battle but feeling good they were able to “speak our mind.” Rather than simply engaging in political discourse (which is rarely “discourse” in the end), Christians should actually elevate the process.  We are called to stand with Jesus, above the great partisan divide and demonstrate a better way.  I heard one speaker remind us that, “Jesus did not come to take sides but to take over.” If He is Lord of our lives, others will see a better way. Remember:

1. Simply because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Imagine that. Believers should approach political discourse with a humble posture. We should enter in (like any conversation) first to understand, and then to be understood. Understanding, of course, means I enter in loving my neighbor, eager to learn, and willing to express the love of Jesus. When I disagree, I do so in a humble, clear yet loving way.

2. People from both political parties are followers of Jesus (and thus, your brothers and sisters). On the weekend just prior to the election, churches will gather together and pray towards the outcome. Some will pray for God’s “will to be done”, but most will be praying for their candidate to win. That’s an appropriate prayer but the point is that sincere Christians on both sides of the political aisle will be praying equal and opposite prayers. And I doubt God is wringing His hands over the conflicting prayers of His people. He is sovereign over all things.

3. Some people like to argue more than others.  Simply because someone is more passionate than you are about politics doesn’t mean they’re more committed to Christ than you are. You are probably more passionate than they are about other matters of faith and culture. In fact, the Bible teaches us that those who cause strife and are prone to quarrel are weak in their faith, not stronger (James 4:1-2). Consider the biblical strategy up against what we see most of the time in the public discourse of our day:

“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.  And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.  Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.” 2 Timothy 2:23-25

4. Thinking any one political party’s platform is altogether right, is wrong.  Any government, nation, or political party is only as good as those who make it up. All politicians (like each of us) are imperfect people and many (not all) are driven by sinful ambition. The policies of your political party are not altogether biblical or Spirit-led.

5. Broaden your perspective by listening to opposing views.  Many people narrow in on one political perspective and then listen only to those who affirm and confirm what they already believe, right or wrong. Remember that political talk radio and cable news channels are in it for the ratings; it’s what keeps them afloat.

Many who obsess over one political perspective become paranoid because the message heard is that the world will end if “our” political agenda is not established. 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Our identity, worth, perspective, hope and focus is found in Jesus Christ.

6. Scripture tells us to pray for our governing leaders and to respect those in authority.  We are told to pray for those whom God has allowed to be placed over us (2 Timothy 2:1-4).  We are to give honor to our leaders and to show them respect as well because, “there is no authority except that which God has established” (Romans 13:1-7). Instead of vilifying our political leaders, we should pray for them.  I’ve often wondered what God would do if we prayed for our political leaders for as much time as we spend talking about them, and often maligning them.

A Tribute to Dr. Brian Newman

25 Jul , 2012 No Comments

I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m shocked, I’m sad, I’m confused, I’m challenged… I’m envious. Paul’s words from Philippians 1:21 come to mind. “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” All of us who have been impacted by Brian have experienced an unbearable loss. Those who never knew him have missed out on an unspeakable blessing. I’m one of the blessed ones. I have lost a dear friend, brother, and partner in ministry. I will miss Brian in a million ways. A friend of mine says, “Grief is the price we pay for love” and I am certain, the greater the love, the greater the grief. This is why we are all grieving so much.

I’m often asked at a time like this, “How do people who do not know the Lord make it through something like this?” My answer is always the same: “They don’t.” Oh, they may live on; they may make it to the next day somehow. They may press on in some way and “make it through”. But God has not called us to just make it through life. Following Jesus means that we experience His abundant life in us through all things. The NIV says, we are “more than conquerors” through Him (Romans 8:37). The NLT says it this way: “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us”. Those of us who cling to the grace of Jesus and seek to live in step with the Spirit, live above and beyond whatever may come our way. We know that we are fully alive as we grieve with hope and weep through breaking loss. The Gospel is not that we receive Jesus and all of life will go well for us, or we’ll never get sick, or never walk through tragedy. The Gospel is this: Whatever we face in life (or death) we get Jesus and He is more than enough for us. We are called to live life to the full in Him. His love that defines us comes without condition, never changes, and will never fail us. The extraordinary life that Jesus envisions for us is one of reckless abandon and unrestrained joy because we have Him. We are defined by His love and that is enough for us.

I know Jesus better because I encountered Him in Brian. He lived like Jesus – for others. He has forever impacted my life for the better. In Galatians 5:22, Paul, this painter with words, presents a portrait he calls the “fruit of the Spirit”. Here is Paul’s list of qualities that are present in a life that is being transformed by His Spirit. You tell me (if you knew Brian), do these words not describe him? “Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..” This is the Brian I know and love. This is a portrait of Jesus.

Thank you God for the great gift you have been to me through Brian. I look forward to seeing him soon. By the time I do (and it could be today), he will have met every person in heaven and will be ready to joyfully introduce me to each one. I look forward to that. Until then, for me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

The Day God Got Mad

02 Apr , 2012 No Comments

Holy Week- Monday

“My Temple will be called a house of prayer but you have turned it into a den of thieves.” Matthew 21:13

Most of us have the mental picture of Jesus as the Good Shepherd with a baby lamb on His shoulders, carrying it to safety. We think of the soft images of Jesus in the manger as a baby or as a grown up with children sitting in His lap. But there’s one picture few of us ponder very often. It’s the picture of Jesus on the Monday before His death storming through the temple like a wild man yelling at people to leave! In one of the most dramatic acts of His ministry, Jesus said more about the priority of prayer than in a hundred sermons on the subject. He actually did this twice in His ministry and the first time He made a whip out of cords and was thrashing people out of the temple.

Why was He so mad? As Jim Cymbala states in Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, “His house was being prostituted for purposes other than what was intended.” The Bible never says, “My house shall be called a house of preaching, or programs that suit me perfectly, or lots of great music.” No, He says His shall be a house of prayer. Cymbala says, “I’ve seen God do more in people’s lives in ten minutes of real prayer than in ten of my sermons.” Then he asks, “What does it say about our churches today that God birthed the church in a prayer meeting, and prayer meetings today are almost extinct?” What about you? Is prayer your first priority? Is your house a house of prayer? Is your life a life of prayer? Determine that it will be. Let’s let our first priority of the church be prayer!

“The prayers of an upright person accomplishes much.” Proverbs 15:8

Pray: Lord, I want prayer to be the first priority of my church and of my life. I don’t want to grieve Your heart because of prayerlessness in my life. I will devote time to pray to You every day. I will be in constant conversation with You today.

Keeping God’s People Attentive to God

28 Oct , 2011 No Comments

Eugene Peterson is best known for his brilliant work presented in “The Message”- a paraphrase of the New Testament that has challenged millions to read the Bible in a different and enlightening way. As a former professor in my doctoral work, I have followed him from afar as a mentor in pastoral ministry. His writings regarding the role of the pastor are his best. His trilogy- “Contemplative Pastor”, “Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work”, “Under the Unpredictable Plant”- on pastoral leadership have encouraged and challenged me through the years. I’m inspired and troubled by his words below and I want my fellow pastors to be as well.

“American pastors are abandoning their posts, left and right, and at an alarming rate. They are not leaving their churches and getting other jobs. Congregations still pay their salaries. Their names remain on the church stationary and they continue to appear in pulpits on Sundays. But they are abandoning their posts, their calling. They have gone whoring after other gods. What they do with their time under the guise of pastoral ministry hasn’t the remotest connection with what the church’s pastors have done for most of twenty centuries.
A few of us are angry about it. We are angry because we have been deserted…. It is bitterly disappointing to enter a room full of people whom you have every reason to expect share the quest and commitments of pastoral work and find within ten minutes that they most definitely do not. They talk of images and statistics. They drop names. They discuss influence and status. Matters of God and the soul and Scripture are not grist for their mills.
The pastors of America have metamorphosed into a company of shopkeepers, and the shops they keep are churches. They are preoccupied with shopkeeper’s concerns– how to keep the customers happy, how to lure customers away from competitors down the street, how to package the goods so that the customers will lay out more money.
Some of them are very good shopkeepers. They attract a lot of customers, pull in great sums of money, develop splendid reputations. Yet it is still shopkeeping; religious shopkeeping, to be sure, but shopkeeping all the same. The marketing strategies of the fast-food franchise occupy the waking minds of these entrepreneurs; while asleep they dream of the kind of success that will get the attention of journalists.
The biblical fact is that there are no successful churches. There are, instead, communities of sinners, gathered before God week after week in towns and villages all over the world. The Holy Spirit gathers them and does his work in them. In these communities of sinners, one of the sinners is called pastor and given a designated responsibility in the community. The pastor’s responsibility is to keep the community attentive to God. It is this responsibility that is being abandoned in spades.”
-Eugene Peterson

Lord God, break us. Keep us on task, seeking to please you alone, glorifying our Savior to the end.