The “birds and bees” is an odd euphemism for human sexual relations and reproduction- namely because the way birds and bees create baby birds and bees is radically different from the way humans do.  Most children (and adults) probably know more about human reproduction than they do about birds or bees.  Of course, most of us know that birds lay eggs but you may not know that most birds are monogamous- they stay together to raise their little family. You may not know that bees actually start the process of making baby bees in mid-air (wow) and shortly thereafter, the male bee dies. Now, there’s an abstinence plan we have not considered.  Just say “no”… or else!

Hosea 4:6 says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Perhaps, in no other area of life is this truer than in the area of gender, sex, and relationships. Throughout February we’re bringing much-needed truth to the topic.  Let’s start with some of the wonderful, God-given male/female differences:

He said, she said…

1. He is purpose-driven; she is heart-driven. Men are more driven than women to “get ‘er done”.  It’s why a boys’ soccer game will not stop if one of the guys goes down with an injury, (that’s an advantage)!  A girls’ game may not start again.  The feelings of the one matter more than the purpose of the game.

2. He is goal-oriented; she is feeling-oriented. Girls- ever had this happen to you?  You’re talking with a guy (husband, friend) and you’re just sharing your heart and he starts to offer solutions.  Men- she talks to get closer to her feelings not to get solutions (and besides, she doesn’t think you’re that smart). Girls talk to get to their feelings. This can be a problem because guys have a short attention span ‘cause he’s thinking, “Get to the point!” Fellas, that is the point.  Conversation is the point.

3. He operates specifically; she operates holistically. Men are segmented, women are connected. Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti.  An example of this is shopping- guys are from Walmart; women are from Nordstrom.  Walmart is more of a hunt and is designed for the kill.  Nordstrom is an experience (they have a guy playing the piano in there)!

4. He needs admiration; she needs affection. Author John Eldridge noted that every guy is asking the question “Do I have what it takes?” Every girl is asking “Am I lovely?” Men tend to strive toward independence and women strive for relationships but men need relationships and women need to find their worth apart from any man.

Words to live by: Men want to hear: “That makes sense. Thank you. You’ve been so helpful.”  Women want to hear: “I understand. Tell me more.”  Try these pointers and watch your relationships thrive.