The Power of a Father’s Presence (or Absence)

There are two ways to measure power. One is to see it at work (a weightlifter breaking a world record, a rocket launching into space, an Indy race car speeding down the final stretch). Another way to measure power is to observe it’s absence.  Some studies reveal that 1/3 of all children in the U.S.A. are being raised in a home where there is NO father.

“Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families…those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant.” (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (Sept. 2004).

Fatherless homes:

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes- 10 times the average.

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. Of Health/Census)- 5 times the average.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes- 32 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes- 20 times the average (Center for Disease Control).

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes- 14 times the average (Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26).

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes- 9 times the average (National Principals Association Report).

The Father Factor in Education:

Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Children with fathers who are involved are:

  • 40% less likely to repeat a grade.
  • 70% less likely to drop out of school.
  • more likely to get A’s in school.
  • more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
  • High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?)
  • Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56.

Suicide: 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?)

Behavioral Disorders: 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? )

Juvenile Detention Rates: 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities?)

Confused Identities: Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press).

Aggression: In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households.” (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, “Household Family Structure and Children’s Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children,” Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5).

Achievement: Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation).

Delinquency: Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services).

Criminal Activity: The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O’Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College.

A unique Swiss government study (presented in 2000) revealed:

If the mother & father attend church regularly:

33% of their children will end up attending church regularly

25% of their children will end up not attending at all

If mother attends church regularly & the father does not attend church at all:

2% of their children will end up attending church regularly

60% of their children will end up not attending at all

If the father attends church regularly & mother does not attend church at all:

44% of their children will end up attending church regularly

34% of their children will end up not attending at all. (NOTE: higher than if the mother and father both attend!)

Now look at the numbers from the survey released by the Baptist Press:

If the mother is the first to become a Christian in a household, there is a 17% probability that everyone in the household will follow.

If the father is the first to become a Christian in a household, there is a 93% probability that everyone in the household will follow!

God has given great power and influence to fathers. Dads, don’t squander it!

 

I Have a Dream.

On January 15, 1929, Michael Luther King Jr. was born in Atlanta, Georgia.  His name was later changed to Martin, the son and grandson of Baptist pastors.  He himself served as co-pastor with his father at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta while he became the central figure in the civil rights movement in the United States.  On August 28th, 1963 Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered a speech that would shake a nation and the world (and I can tell you, by the way, as a pastor/preacher- one who traffics constantly in words- this is one of the finest speeches/sermons ever preached).  Dr. King was so articulated, so clear, so picturesque in his words, but what drove his message home was his passion- and even more so, I believe a divine anointing upon his life.  Consider the fact that he was only 34 years old.  Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream and it was a dream aligned with God’s dream for a better world.  Let his words resonate in your heart again:

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal…. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.”

“…One day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.  I have a dream today.  I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.”

In March of 1968, Dr. King, went to Memphis, TN in support of mistreated black sanitation workers.  On March 4th he stood with a friend outside his hotel room on the second floor balcony.  A shot rang out and an assassin’s bullet hit Dr. King and the civil rights leader was dead at the age of 39.

To get deeper into the heart of this man we need only listen to his final words preached the night before he died. Listen, in light of what would happen the next day: “Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. (Amen.) But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop.  And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life.  Longevity has its place.  But I’m not concerned about that now.  I just want to do God’s will.  And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain.  And I’ve looked over.  And I’ve seen the promised land.  I may not get there with you.  But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land.  And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything.  I’m not fearing any man.  Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”

Martin Luther King had a life mission.  His one life made a difference.  Let me ask you, do you think that only certain people have a mission in life?  That maybe there are only a few people who really have a God-given dream?  Or could it be that every single one of us has been given a dream- by God- to serve His eternal Kingdom purposes while we’re here on this earth?

Throughout this month let’s allow the life and the words of Martin Luther King Jr. (and even more so, the words of our Lord Jesus) to inspire us to dream as well.  Each of us has a God-given dream that He’s calling us to live.  And our God-given dream has the potential to change our world.  Your dream may or may not find its way on the national or international stage (it may!) but your God-given dream is unique to you and given to you to fulfill your life’s purpose.

So, let me ask you: What do you dream about?

Questions to Ponder this Month:

  • What is your dream for life?
  • What is the vision/calling (or God-given picture) of your life?
  • If you had unlimited resources (of time, money, energy, people) what would you want to accomplish with the rest of your life?
  • What do you love to do more than anything else?  What makes you feel fully alive?  Why?
  • What do hate the most?  What makes you angry?  Why?
  • What do you do best?  What are your best gifts?  (You’ve heard others tell you this).
  • What is God’s unique mission for your life?
  • How will you fulfill this mission- starting today?

What is your dream? LIVE IT.

 

Questions to ask at the beginning of a new year:

Are you in a rut? Are you slow to think about resolutions because you’ve made them (and tossed them) before? If you’re not intentional, momentary ruts can cost you greatly and you’ll end up squandering days, months, even years of this one and only life you’ve been given. The following diagnostic questions will help you dream again and, with God’s help, allow you to be all you can be in 2013.

  • What is your dream for your life?
  • What do you see as the vision/calling- or God-given picture– of your life?
  • If you had unlimited resources (of time, money, energy, people) what would you want to accomplish with the rest of your life?
  • What do you love to do more than anything else?  What makes you feel fully alive?  Why?
  • What do hate the most?  What makes you angry?  Why?
  • What do you do best?  What are your best gifts?  These are things you’ve heard others (not just mom) say mark you as being unique.
  • What is God’s unique mission for your life?
  • How will you fulfill this mission, starting TODAY?

You can begin by setting S.M.A.R.T. goals now. It’s critical that you write them down.

S pecific- Be as detailed as you can be about the goals you are stating. A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. I heard years ago that, “If you shoot at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions: Who will be involved? What do I want to accomplish? Where will it happen? When will it happen? Which requirements and constraints will place on me? Why will I do this? (What will be the specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing this goal.

M easurable- Every goal must be measured. How will you know you’ve accomplished it? What will be success? At what point will you know you’ve achieved that goal?

A ttainable- An attainable goal will stretch you to achieve it, but it will not be extreme. Attainable goals will challenge your attitudes and abilities and help you develop skills you may not have in order to reach them. Attainable goals will help you identify previously overlooked opportunities and bring you closer to the achievement of goals you once thought impossible.

R ealisitic- A realistic goal represents something that you are both willing and able to work toward. A goal can be both very challenging (perhaps seemingly beyond your reach to start) and realistic.  You are the only one who can decide just how challenging your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents major progress. Challenging goals are more often reached than lower, easier ones because a low goal exerts a much lower motivational force.

T imely- Your goals must have target dates. If you don’t set a timeline you will not be motivated and you will not reach your goals. A deadline too far in the future is too easily put off and a goal that’s set too close is unrealistic and then discouraging. Place times/dates on a calendar that will mark where you should (will!) be when you get to that date.

PRAY, DREAM again and then set S.M.A.R.T. goals in order to accomplish your dreams. Remember: If your dreams are not God’s dreams for your life you will fail, or even worse, you will succeed at the wrong things and squander your life. Go for it!

Happy 2013!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

Thank you to my friend Emily Davidson (in our youth ministry) for using her amazing gift of voice to worship her Savior!

The Power of Biblical Hope

When we think of “hope”, we generally are not thinking of biblical hope. We have all “hoped” for things that did not happen or that we did not receive. That is not biblical hope. Biblical hope is not wishful thinking. Biblical hope is living in the confidence of a past event, a present reality, and a future certainty. It is full confidence in the finished work of Christ on the Cross, the sovereign work of God in my life right now, and the certainty of His promised future. Like our salvation, there are past, present, and future dimensions of hope. Biblical hope is a bold and certain expectation that God will do what He says He will do. So like faith, hope has this maddening quality of the unseen- the yet to be. It has a future orientation. It’s why Paul says-

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope (present) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (past), to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, & unfading, kept in heaven for you. (future)” 1 Peter 1:3-4

This Christmas remember that your hope & my hope is not dependent possessions, or material things, but on a Person. We need to continually remind each other of our glorious future ahead. It changes everything. My Christmas prayer for you:

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

Where does hope come from?

Hope comes from the “God of hope” so you must come to Him to receive it. Ephesians 2:12 says, “..you were.. separated from Christ.. and strangers to the covenants of promise, having NO HOPE & without God in the world.” Hope comes from the Lord. There is no HOPE apart from Him, because apart from Him it does not exist. You must come to Him to get it. Are you?

How do you get hope?

1. By believing patiently. It says, “in believing”. “And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this HOPE we were saved. Now HOPE that is seen is not hope. For who HOPES for what they already have? But if we HOPE for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:23-25

2. By obeying the Word. Rom. 15:4 “through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have HOPE.” You must be in the Word. God’s Word gives hope.

3. By the power of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us …” His Spirit in us gives hope. N.T. Wright says, “The Spirit is given to us to begin the work of making God’s future real in the present.”

What does hope look like? What are the marks of hope? Notice too that the Bible describes this hope, not as simply “hanging on” but that we “ABOUND in hope” it is described as a “living hope”- a vibrant, dynamic, vigorous hope!  SO..

Hope results in a life filled with joy and peace.

“Since we have such a hope, we are very bold.” 2 Corinthians 3:12 God’s hope brings great confidence to us! Are you living in hope? Do you live every day filled with hope? Would others describe you as having a confident and constant future orientation? Friend, if you are a follower of Jesus remember, “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.” 1 Corinthians 15:19

“Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in HOPE of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:2-5
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18
Come to Jesus. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred (delayed, postponed) makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Don’t wait. Don’t go another day without living in His hope. And remember hope is from God alone. Hope has come to us. Hope has a name and His name is Jesus.